Let's talk about snow baby!! Let's talk about you and me! Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things.... Oh, whoops that's sex. And, really isn't snow much better to talk about?
Since the day we landed in IL it has snowed. Now, I am not opposed to snow. It's pretty, fluffy, and well pretty. Driving around the suburbs, watching the horses frolic in it, is relaxing. Apparently there is some special breed of horse just up the street. If IL is good enough for the horses well then it's good enough for me! Not... I am trying that say it out loud for 30 days and it becomes true technique. Whoever made that shit up is a moron. I shake non-stop. Cracked ribs here I come. Who knew it snowed this much ANYWHERE? Not me! That is who! My internal temperature stays about 40 degrees ALL DAY LONG!
Ian is loving our move to IL, it's bringing out the best in my fashion choices. Anyone know of a good sale on sweats, and parkas? I have a feeling I am going to need it. Getting Peyton out the door in the AM takes about 15 minuets. Snow pants, hat, hoodie, coat, gloves, and on and on and on... Truth be told I question how he is able to potty at school? No accidents so far, so he must be managing.
We have a guy who drives the snow plow. Every morning when I wake up, just as I hit that semi-conscious state I listen for the snow plow. A freaking month in IL, and that is the VERY FIRST thing I do. Even before my eyes are open. I cringe internally as soon as I hear him. I mean, I am certain he is a really nice guy, just trying to make a living for his family. BUT PLEASE, PLEASE let it end now!
Starting the car 15 minuets before going anywhere should be illegal. All the gas I am wasting. But, I flat refuse to even think about driving before heating the car at least a little...
They say IL has grass. I am sure they are right, it's just well, I have not actually seen it yet! Maybe it falls to faith, I just have to have faith that the grass is real, and someday I will see it. I might even be so excited that I mow it. If you mow it, it will stay forever... Anyone think that applies?
And, apparently that stupid groundhog Puxsutawney Phil (thanks to my friend Rebekah I really do know his name) is either hitting male menopause or he clearly drinks way to much and should not be relied on to predict the end of winter. In the past it never really affected me one way or the other. Now, I am frantically planning a trek in his name, in hopes that next year he will say spring is HERE NOW! What the hell do groundhogs eat? Think I can bribe him with a bag of nuts?
Last night before bed I checked the weather. I really must stop doing that. To my surprise we are expecting still more snow. Some news stations are saying we could get up to a foot. YIKES! What the hell people? I mean, really, why stay. Florida is right down the road, and they have beaches, and flip-flops, and OMG someone save me.
I intend to write a letter to the secretary of the Navy explaining geography to this man. Last I checked it was a required course in school. Did he forget? Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Once upon a time the Navy had 3 recruit training bases. 1 in CA, 1 in FL, and this one here in IL. I have to ask who's bright idea it was to say... Yup, let's close CA and FL and keep these poor saps and their families in IL! I mean really??
For those of you reading this saying to yourselves.. She is over reacting... I have two words for you all.. STOCKHOLM SYNDROME! You all must clearly be suffering from it...